'Tis the Season

I'm a bit worried this blog is going to turn into 365 excuses to not go to the gym, rather than some sort of motivational tool.

So no, I did not go to the gym last night.  

But before everyone gets all huffy, last night was my company holiday party and I couldn't very well miss that, could I?  Don't worry, I was very very good.  I only had two vodka & sodas (also known as "the skinny bitch") and I was SO proud of myself!  Until I proceeded to eat 6 (or 8) mozzarella sticks for dinner.  And an egg-roll.  And several pieces of fried calamari.   I had a completely orange and completely fried dinner and I know there is something very wrong with that.

But I only had two drinks, which is an amazing feat of self-control on my part, and in my relative sobriety I learned a few things I'd missed at holiday parties past.

1. I work with a bunch of drunks.

2. Anytime you label a department as "creative" and give them free alcohol, anything goes and they should not be held responsible for their actions.  

3. This younger batch of hires do not know how to party like we used to back in the day.  I was not impressed by the debauchery.  

4. Despite observation #3, I saw some shit go down, and it was awesome.

5. There was a very cute new guy in attendance.  

As you might expect, Cute New Guy got a LOT of attention, and you better believe I was totally scoping him out.  At first I just observed him very discreetly...you know, by standing with my back to him and laughing really loudly.  Then I maneuvered my way into facing him and stealing little glances.  Which he pretty much ignored while he basked in the attention from 50 other girls.  But I am not discouraged, I take that moment to really get a good look at Cute New Guy, and notice that although CNG is absolutely adorable, his head is about ten times the size of his little 5'4" body.  Is this enough to walk away?  No.  CNG is really that cute.  

So then I did what every girl does at a time like this, I began to imagine our cute little babies who would have his blonde hair, my green eyes, and we'd inject them with growth hormone so they'd break the 5'4" barrier.  Oh, and they'd be brilliant!  And successful!  And funny!  And we'd submit their photos into those baby gap contests and win!  

Finally, I summed up the courage and made my friend introduce me to CNG, otherwise known as the father of my future children.  My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, I felt giddy with the excitement of our perfect future together.  He held out his hand and said "Hi..I'm Cute New Guy," with the most disarming smile...which is the exact moment I realized CNG is a total frat boy.  And not a day over 24.  

Fantasy. Destroyed.