COSTA RICA HERE I COME!

So I managed to lose a good 7 pounds before my Costa Rica trip, but unfortunately, I spent this whole weekend piling it all right back on.

Birthdays and weddings will do that to you.

However, I leave for Costa Rica tomorrow at 6am and plan on hiking all those pounds right back off.

Be back in a week...maybe.

I finna try

I really believe the universe senses your troubles and occasionally has a tiny bit of mercy on you and sends you a brief moment of happiness.  Don’t get me wrong, 99% of the time the universe is a real bitch, but today, for a tiny little second, she has been kind to my utterly pathetic hung-over self.

This has been a rough morning.  Last night involved vodka, then beer, then more vodka, then pasta with vodka sauce, all in that order.  That whole thing with the “beer before liquor, never sicker” is true.  But worse than that, I woke up at 3am and have been up since.

So as I was sitting at my desk this morning, my last day of work before vacation, staring numbly at facebook, this little gift popped into my inbox.

You’re welcome.

Summer Lovin' Here I Come

One week from today I will be on a beach in Costa Rica and I am counting down the seconds to freedom!

This winter has been brutal and it's slowly destroying my soul.  But I do have some good news!  Despite the fact that I haven’t really centered this blog on weight loss even though that’s what I said I would do, I am down to a weight I haven’t been since 2001!  And I cannot wait to eat my way back to fatness after this trip is over!  I kid, I kid, I will not do that (maybe), but still, there are moments when I walk by McDonalds and want to go inside and order a 20-piece chicken nugget meal...or two (don’t judge me). 

I haven’t eaten at McDonalds in years, but I have to walk by the damn place every single morning and it smells so damn good it hurts.

I also walk by this total scammer who is parked outside of Starbucks every single day asking for money for the homeless all day long.  He has a table and an old water jug and a fake sign, and rain or shine, hot or cold he has the same spiel “Feed the homeless, even a penny will help!”

He’s relatively well dressed and is generally in good spirits so I can only assume there are enough tourists in times square to make decent money, but I just don’t get it. 

Isn’t he EXHAUSTED from all that standing and all that begging?? And it’s freezing out there!  A real job just sounds like so much less work and way more money.

Then again, it is time’s square.  He’s probably pulling in 100K a year…tax free.   

Rollin' with the Homies

Okay, so the year of the rabbit didn’t start off as well as expected.  The photography exhibit was fun, although this boy I went on a few dates with this summer was there (who I am convinced has Aspergers) and I smiled and waved at him from across the room because I’m an adult and that’s what adults do when they see someone they know and he turned his head and ignored me.  At first I thought that maybe he didn’t see me, so a little later I gave him another smile and nothing.  Not even a tiny glimmer of recognition crossed his face despite the fact that he was looking directly at me.

Then, oddly, the next morning he sent me an email saying “I hope you had a good time at the exhibit, sorry I didn’t get a chance to say hello, you guys left pretty early.”  Seriously.  The only explanation is Aspergers.  This is the same guy I went on four dates with, and on those four dates he barely made eye contact and never actually physically touched me.  Ever.  Four dates was three dates too many.  No, four dates were four too many.

Then the sort-of-cute guy that was supposed to show up and hang out and go to dinner with us showed up late, having already eaten dinner and didn’t express any interest in me or going to dinner so that was the end of that.

Year of the rabbit is not looking like it’s going to the year of The Romance.  But it is starting to look like THE YEAR OF THE GROUP SKATE!

Despite the ridiculous lines, and the venue running out of skate rentals, Saturday night’s Down and Dirty Disco Derby was AMAZING.  Being on skates again reminded me of something very very important.  I ROCK ON SKATES.  And if my skates hadn’t been two sizes too big, I would have done some serious tricked out tricks.  But they were two sizes too big so i had to settle for less tricked out tricks--like majorly awesome dance moves.

The best part of the night, however, was the fact that people would stop me and ask me to take a picture of them because I had my big pseudo-professional camera around my neck.  People just assumed I was the official party photographer and why on earth would I destroy that fun little fantasy?  So I took photos of tons of people in elaborate costumes and told them to check out the party website for photos later in the week.

Sometimes you just have to get in character and then run skate with it.

New Years, New Beginnings

Today marks the first day of “the year of the RABBIT” and I for one am relieved.

The western New Year wasn’t exactly joyous or fun for me, nor did it feel like I was starting the new year off right.  Then the month of January continued to slowly destroy my soul one snowy, icy day at a time.  But I am hopeful that not all is lost.  I think it’s time to shed western tradition and replace it with the Chinese New Year.  I mean, they’ve been around a lot longer, so maybe they know what they’re talking about.

Plus this gives me a second chance to start the year off right.

So what am I doing exactly in order to ensure that I’m starting the new year off right?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I will be leaving work early to grab a drink with my friend, then we will be attending an art exhibit where we will be met by some other friends and a cute boy that seems interested in hanging out with me, followed by dinner.  Okay so it’s not a roller skating disco party, but it’s a big effort for a mid-week cold and bitter evening in Manhattan. 

But how to look cute and sexy in the middle of winter post-ice storm?  After trying on many different outfits, I resolved to just suck it up and continue to look like a homeless person with my big puffy jacket, un-matching hat and scarf, and 3 million layers.  I did draw the line at rain boots.  I am wearing my grown-up boots today.  My very slippery, useless-against-the cold, purely decorative grown-up boots.

And will probably slip and fall on the ice and break my arm in a vain attempt to look like a not-homeless person vaguely resembling a female.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

 

What comes to mind when you read the following sentences:

Dress code:

Guys: Knee High Tube Socks, Neon Tanktops, Headbands, Wristbands, ‘Fros and Flattops…

Ladies: Thighs of Steel on Two Inch Wheels, with Striped Short Shorts to seal the deal

That’s right, it’s “Down and Derby Roller Disco” time! 

Everyone knows how I’m always complaining about the lack of roller rinks left in the world, well, today something wonderful happened.  Today I discovered that this Saturday, for one night only, this club in Hell’s Kitchen is turning into the coolest little roller rink in town.  Okay, so it’s the only roller rink in town, but still…HOW GREAT IS THIS NEWS!?

BRING ON THE STORM OF THE CENTURY, come rain or shine, snow or sleet, we’re going skating.  We’re going DISCO SKATING.

I only have one teeny-tiny problem with this whole event, and it’s called “Striped Short Shorts”.  That’s just not happening.

Part 2: The South Continued

The second half of my trip was all about NASCAR.  Despite the fact that I am the most inappropriate person to go interview people about cars, I got really really excited when I stepped into the studios.

Unlike many of the people working on the set of our pilot shoot, these people were on top of their game.  6 editing suites, 4 sound studios, and a surprising number of normal, beautiful, intelligent women making things happen—who knew?  I’ll admit it, I thought I’d be dealing with a bunch of redneck hicks who spoke in car lingo, but I was totally surprised.  This studio rivaled any I’ve seen in LA or New York AND the people were NICE.  Actually, people were nice everywhere you went!  Imagine that?

So I started to analyze =the difference between a New York attitude and Southern hospitality.  New Yorkers are generally considered to be “mean” and “unfriendly” which I didn’t really understand until now.  New Yorkers aren’t actually mean and unfriendly, we’re simply more efficient.  If someone asks us for directions, we will respond very directly, “go 3 blocks that way, then make a left and the building will be on your right,” and then continue on our way.  No thanks needed.

In the South, when you ask someone for directions it turns into a conversation that somehow will involve anyone within a 500 foot radius.

For example, at the airport I spotted a Delta employee and went up to him and said, “Excuse me, can you tell me where the cabs are, and do you know if they take credit cards?”  Simple request, right?  Wrong. 

Suddenly, I’m surrounded by 5 very bored Delta terminal employees who have 5 very different answers.  Finally, one of the Delta employees asked me where I was headed, so I told him the name of my hotel and he actually said, “Girl, I’m headed that way, I’ll just drop you off.”  I’m not quite sure what my face looked like at this point, but I know I had to pick my jaw up off the floor so I could respond with, “But…but I don’t know you?”  Then I felt a hand on my shoulder--I turned and looked up into a very large black woman’s very pretty face.  She gave me a very comforting smile and said, “Honey, I know him, and he’s just fine!  Why waste your money, he’ll give you a ride.” 

Really?  Was I really expected to get into a car with a strange man from the Charlotte, North Carolina airport?  And what’s with all the touching?

So I said, “Oh, thank you so much, but my company pays for it anyway, but thank you.”

Finally, I managed to get away from them, went straight to the cab station, and got right into a strange man’s car and paid him $50 to take me to my hotel.